Happiness...is the background of this blog?

(Disclaimer: The background of this blog may or may not load if you're reading from an Ipad, phone, etc.)

This might be a relatively unnecessary post in relation to my other blogposts, but I spent about two hours trying to choose a better theme, layout, and background for this blog yesterday.

"Cool Story, Bro," might probably be your reaction, as was the voice of my alter ego, however, the complexity in choosing a background that might define happiness to everybody was a a bit fascinating to me.

Even though I was on a time crunch, I decided to take the time out to choose how to best represent my theme of happiness? Should it be about what I think happiness is? Or should it be about what you think happiness is? And if it should, then how am I to decide what your definition of happiness is? (How would I even know what your definitions is? Do you know your definition of happiness?)

Looking at the futility and unnecessary over-analyzation of my questions, I decided to choose something somewhat universal or something y'all might be able to relate to.

I thought of choosing a background of a person in the "Namaste" pose, doing yoga. Yoga and meditation are activities that many people find happiness in, right? But does that reflect the definition of happiness in everyone's daily life? Well, maybe. Eh. Not my fav.

What about a background picture of a candlelight with a dark maroon background? It's very peaceful, right? The single candle represents a ray of happiness in the dark maroon background color of life, right? Well, no. Life isn't (or at least shouldn't be) as black/as morbid as the picture portrayed it to be and there isn't only one ray of happiness in life (at least there shouldn't be), there are multiple things that bring us small or large moments of happiness.

How about a nice nature-y picture. A picture with delicate white flowers. It's pleasing to the eyes...but that seemed like that was it. It wasn't that bad of an option, but then I asked myself, why not the current background I had chosen?

Well, there's...uh...uhm....well...there's...I guess there's really nothing... wrong, in my opinion. Take a look at it. Happiness, indeed, is as abstract as the canvas of my blog. The strokes of happiness in our lives are as unexpectedly abstract, some more heavy (dark) with happiness, some small and light, and some mixed with random similar colors in order to achieve what we thought would make that pink color of happiness, but it wasn't quite what we imagined. We all want to get a pretty pink canvas full of happiness, but our tragedies, our mistakes, our successes, our stupidities, our relations, our being human never really allows us to do so. But at the end, it turns out to be a unique piece of art, regardless of the fact whether you appreciate it or not.

I mean I could go on. Or I could be wrong, to you. Maybe you don't see it. Maybe you see it a different way. Maybe it's just an abstract background. Whatever it is, IT is now the reflection of my theme: happiness.

It’s true folks: Money can’t buy happiness

An interesting study was conducted, showing a correlation between income and the rate of depression. It's actually quite interesting, as I initially guessed that a person in a third-world country would be more depressed due to the lack of financial security than the wealthier person living in western countries. However, my hypothesis completely contradicted a survey, which was completed July 27, 2011.

Of the 18 countries that were surveyed, about 15% of the population in the top ten wealthiest countries were suffering from or had been diagnosed in the past with depression. On the other hand, only about 11% of the population in the developing countries suffered from depression.

The following is a breakdown of the surveyed countries:

From High-income:

• Japan: 6.6 percent
• Germany: 9.9 percent
• Italy: 9.9 percent
• Israel: 10.2 percent
• Spain: 10.6 percent
• Belgium: 14.1 percent
• New Zealand: 17.8 percent
• Netherlands: 17.9 percent
• United States: 19.2 percent
• France: 21 percent

From Low- and middle-income:

• China: 6.5 percent
• Mexico: 8 percent
• India: 9 percent
• South Africa: 9.8 percent
• Lebanon: 10.9 percent
• Colombia: 13.3 percent
• Ukraine: 14.6 percent
• Brazil: 18.4 percent

These statistics definitely caught me by surprise. How are richer countries trending towards depression? Shouldn’t they be happier because of all the comfort money can buy? According to the Huffington Post, the reason for this depression is.... jealousy! Yes, jealousy! In richer societies, there seems to be a level of competition to be rich, while in the developing countries, that sort of pressure isn’t as prevalent as everyone around seems to be going through the same financial circumstances.

In addition to the wealthier being more prone to depression, women are generally twice as likely than men to be prone to depression. There is a direct relation between gender inequality and women’s depression, as shown below in a 2010 chart projecting the percentages of women depression.

Living in the western world, I can definitely see the effect of competition: everybody wants to be THE best. However, this is obviously taking a toll on people's mental health, and even physical health. While being the best might be important, it's also important to realize when competition is taking over your life and happiness.

Here's my two-cents: Even if you believe in reincarnation, you're going to live THIS life once: YOLO! So don't make it miserable. Re-evaluate your decisions in life. Is what you're doing making you happy? If not, then friends, you're doing life wrong. Change your thinking. Do YOUR best. Someone is ALWAYS going to be smarter than you, prettier than you, [insert adj here] than you, but no one is going to be YOU. As my grandma tells me, "You don't have to be THE best, just do your best, and be happy with what you have." That doesn't mean don't stop trying. It just means the only person you should compare yourself and try to be better than is the person who you are today, and be happy with your best.

P.S: If you truly are the Western person described in the study, and the above doesn't convince you, then the following quote might: "The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy than seeing someone actually living a good life."

When your world seems to end...

The topic I’m going to talk about is a topic I hate, but many of my readers have asked me to write on heart-breaks, as they feel that there’s no chance for happiness after it. Well, my friends, to start off, you’re definitely wrong.

When it comes to two people really liking each other, I’ll literally be the first person rooting for the couple-even if I don’t like them very much, or even if they're fictional characters-but I feel like there’s nothing more wonderful than when two people have that mutual feeling. On the other end, there’s also nothing more painful, even for me to watch as a spectator, for those two to break up. (I’m not even kidding-I seriously won’t want to watch a movie with that plot line.) For me to watch the loss of something that was so special and intimate, it’s just painful.

The situation is grim and depressing, so when you say you’ll never be happy again or you feel your world is ending-I feel ya, but as Rick Ross put it,”Regardless of how it goes down, Life goes on.” Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Honestly, I hate clicheed quotes thrown at me like this also; I don’t feel they help at the moment, but they do have some value when you take a few minutes to analyze it.

You can choose to mope, be sad, or simply wait patiently, in remembrance of a person, but if happiness is your goal, that most probably won’t be the best way to achieve it. Also, it helps to take life a day at a time. Let's say today was the last day to live, would you want to spend it happy or sad?

The path to your goal of happiness is strength. It takes strength to overcome grief. It takes strength to acknowledge your feelings from any type of loss:unrequited love, death, heart break, etc. Some people don’t want to find that strength.

For those who think this is the end-that is not true, in fact, it’s time to write the next and most beautiful chapter in your life yet. It might take time to realize you want that strength and finding that strength may be difficult, but the best thing you could do for yourself is learn to grow from your experiences. Think of things that might have gone wrong. Acknowledge that you and your significant other are human. There might have been mistakes made and it’s OKAY to make mistakes; it’s the only way you’ll learn not to repeat them in the future. This will only make for a better future for you! :) Strength also comes faster when you have a great support system. To get out of your low mood, get out there and enjoy a great time with your friends and family. Take up dancing or painting classes, read, give yourself a treat to the spa-Take care of yourself, improve yourself and have fun! Keep yourself surrounded and busy! Do things you love! Focus on yourself rather than anyone else, because you can do that best. Most importantly-Carry yourself with confident swag. Find your style and don’t be afraid to be who you are. Smile and let your confidence radiate and shine! Let everyone know, including yourself, that you’re happy no matter what and your happiness is not dependent on anybody, but you!

Valentine's Day: Hallmark Creating the False Definition of Happiness

You could count me in on the bandwagon: To a certain extent, I, too, believe that Valentine’Day has become a “Hallmark Holiday”.

Don’t get me wrong, I guess it’s a great day for couples to rejoice and go through the ritualistic motions of giving flowers, candy, presents, and going on a romantic date. Besides the fact that such emotions, sentiments, and expressions of love shouldn’t just be an annual event, I don’t think it’s that bad of a day for couples necessarily, but the over-excessive bombardment of the idea of “being with your significant other” makes the day almost blind to the many other lovely people in your life for many people.

One of the most complaints I hear of this day, is how especially aware people are of their relationship status if they’re not in a relationship-resulting in joke of a day, “anti-valentine” sentiments, or a straight-up “kick-it” night for those who can’t handle the idea of being single on this day or are made especially lonely by this hallmark holiday. This money makin’ scheme might have succeeded, but it seems to me that this holiday has become depressing for those who aren’t in a blossoming relationships-and no, I’m not only talking about “the single ladies.”

Besides funny statuses like, “RIP to all the virginities to be lost tonight LOL” and “hopeful” statuses like, “God looked down on you and said I’m saving this one for a special someone,” it was interesting to hear a different perspective. My mother, a nurse, works at a nursing home and told me how she found one of her geriatric patients crying on Valentine’s Day. She was crying in remembrance of the past and how she used to spend every Valentine’s Day together with their children, always planning something special for the six children. Today, it’s been years since her husband passed away and her six kids have dumped her at a nursing home, rarely calling-even on annual events like Valentine’s Day, which was a special family event for her.

Stories like these are what makes me think that Valentine’s Day has turned into more of a selfish event than the selfless day of expressing your love. It’s become more about the “significant other,” than your family, your friends-and when the day gives single people to really care for those other loved people in their lives, they feel especially depressed and lonely about not being “loved,” blind to all the love that truly surrounds them.

Some, who can’t deal with the fact of being single, go on and decide to get themselves into some bad…sh-tuff. For those souls, I’d recommend watching this video. Actually, it's a good one for everybody-watch it.

So folks, I urge you to be thankful of what you have. Imagine those friends, those family members, those people around you and evaluate the impact of their existence in your life. Now imagine if they were not in your life….Exactly, you most probably can’t. So, go on and appreciate the people around you. Just send a card or you can even by them flowers, like a nice member of our class did for the whole class. It’s just a wonderful thing to do and it will make you feel nice too.

My Inspiration: The Pursuit of Happyness

Hello all, and hope you all had a great New Years!

To start off this year, I thought it would be a great idea to discuss the source of my inspiration for creating this blog-The Pursuit of Happyness. This is autobiography, by Chris Gardener, is about a his struggle in single-handedly raising a child from homeless conditions to eventually becoming rich as a wildly popular stockbroker, without any college education.

Granted this book is a classic “rags-to-riches” story and a rather simple book, but nonetheless, it shows unwavering determination to better his and his child’s future, no matter what the circumstance. The book is very captivating and makes the reader want to turn the page to find out how he plans to fend for himself. His struggle in a first-world society with third-world problems is what captivates me, but perhaps the most admirable moral of all is that he never gives up hope.

As a reader, it makes me realize "that struggle is the meaning of life," truly. No matter how big or small, we all fight a unique war in life and it affects us all differently, but the most important thing is to have the determination to keep the strength, hope and courage to face and get through the problems. It also makes me realize to appreciate what I have, rather than complain for what I do not, and to continue to aspire to make a better life.

Starting the New Year off− in the wrong direction

New Years is just around the corner and almost everybody is excited about a new, fresh start to their lives. Many use New Years as an excuse to start the year improving themselves through resolutions. Before the New Year begins though, we choose to get in all our last whims or wishes that aren’t necessarily good for us. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that− unless this last-minute pursuit of happiness can kill someone.

For people of age, and unfortunately people underage, drinking happens. Knowing that alcohol is dangerous for their bodies, many tend to use it as the last unhealthy way to enjoy themselves before starting a saintly new year. More likely than not, many will abuse alcohol in thinking that this is their “last” time, which potentially can result in endangering themselves or someone else.

In order to minimize car accidents caused by drivers under the influence, CTA will be offering penny rides from late New Year’s Eve to early morning New Year’s Day. There will also be a Tipsy Tow service, where when you call 800-AAA-HELP, AAA service will give you a free ride.

All these initiatives are in place due to the high rate of deaths caused from being under the influence. It’s especially terrifying, since car crashes are the leading cause of death for teens and one out of three of those is alcohol-related.

Thinking that New Years is the LAST day in their lives to be as bad as they want, people try to do too much in the last day, usually drink more. Media and Hallmarking is largely to blame for this “last” day psychology. While sometimes that feeling is unavoidable, we don’t realize how much we’re expecting from this one day, which is also largely why some people find it useless to make resolutions in the first place. Relying on changing overnight is, frankly, a bit unpractical and unrealistic. If, throughout the year, you think of everyday as a new, fresh start, you’ll be able to really improve on your short-term and long-term goals, even if you do make a mistake in the process or forget your goal one day. If you fit in a guilty pleasure more responsibly the whole year, you’ll most likely be able to do the same on New Year’s Eve.

Don’t bank on the New Year’s as the Armageddon of All-Wishes-Unhealthy, because a good chance is that you might end up hurting yourself or hurting someone else, breaking any type of resolution you formulated. While it may be a bit burdensome on New Year’s, when you want to forget everything and enjoy yourself, you have to be responsible or consequences can go to another person’s family starting their year with painful tears. Please, if not for your own sake, for others, act responsibly by following these tips.

Happy New Year to All, and May This New Year bring in Happiness For All!

Misconception of the Spiritual Pursuit of Happiness

You've probably heard of the time when an ardent atheist or agnostic person receives news that he/she has terminal cancer and suddenly resorts to remembering God or are found reading the Bible in their hospital room. Why the sudden change?

Well, maybe because many such people, if not everyone, try to find comfort, relaxation, satisfaction, or happiness in believing that some greater force is out there that is going to take care of them, no matter what. Religion might mean something different for everyone, but usually, followers of any faith follow it because they find those characteristics listed above in their faiths, whether that faith is represented through idols, through the Trinity, through the Noble Eight Fold Path etc.

Yet, even in our spiritual pursuit of happiness, tensions exist. There has always been great tension between religions. Because of our relations with the Middle East and events around the Arab Spring, the crusade of this century seems to deal mostly with Islam.

Being a Muslim, I get asked many questions: To name a few recent ones - “How come you don’t wear the veil?”, “If you got a chance to go to Hajj, would you?”, “People who aren’t in your sect, do you believe they’re going to hell?”, “Do you pray 5 times a day?”

I’m not at all annoyed with these questions, especially since they’re asked by well-informed, nice and bright people. In fact, I love people who are curious, but I actually find it a bit funny that there is even a need to ask me such questions. Chances are that your answer to the question is probably what my religion teaches me too, because they're basically the same belief. Granted, specifics cause the nuanced differences, but I hope people grasp the overall big picture. Let’s just take one question for example, “How come you don’t wear the veil?”, a specific detail of the religion. I mean, I could tell you straight up, "No, I don't," but, again, let's also not forget the big picture. When I say "No," I don't undermine the emphasis of modesty, which is a key virtue in Islam, and in most religions I know (Nuns wear a veil, Many Jews wear the Yarmulke, etc.). Wearing the veil is one's choice; some might feel they're being modest with it, some might feel modest without it. But the virtue that religion teaches is modesty: that's the big picture that connects all of us, in this particular case.

I feel like sometimes, in the midst of small details of each religion, we forget that ALL faiths are literally the SAME. There is really no other way to put it. Each religion, especially the Abrahamic faiths, puts emphasis on the same values. The gist of any faith is to 1) remember God, 2) Live Morally, and 3) be happy and make others happy. No religion teaches any different than the gist above; the subtle nuisances categorize us and blind us from seeing the overarching unity of all faiths.

I'd argue that even if you categorize yourself as un-religious or atheist; if you lead your life morally, you're also very similar to me and other religious beings because leading an ethical life is, I believe, a way of remembering God's words, therefore, remembering God, in my opinion.

So why the constant tension....?